The Unfiltered Truth: 5 Months Into Retirement, Here's How I Really Feel

A new haircut

Tomorrow will be Thanksgiving. I'm assessing how I feel since leaving the building 5 months ago. When I walked out the door on July 1st. I was filled with joy and at the same time sadness. Joy in the fact that I feel more liberated from my day to day tasks of "work". As for the sadness, it's surreal. I've enjoyed the years of working and to finally "stop" with what I've been doing. And another feeling is also strange. Sadness. Surreal. Strange. (Three "S" notations.) Yes and no, I will not miss my colleagues or the work, but at the same time, I've elected to break free from the daily rigors of work to celebrate MY TIME at this stage in my life. I've been working since I was a preteen. This I can verify through SSA.Gov which tracks my first paycheck and tax deduction since I first started working. 

First time at Wimbledon!

It was wonderful to clean my desk, take in my surroundings, and really take in the moment that I will not be returning on Monday morning. Full stop. In addition, I planned for this moment for the most part. Plans were made to take trips promptly after leaving my job. On my bucket list of travel was London to be an attendee at the All England Tennis Tournament (Wimbledon). I've been a tennis player since I was a junior and watched this event on TV ever since. To finally witness this live was the icing on the cake. I have no regrets on this choice. In addition, I spent a longer than normal time back home in Hawaii with family and friends. I was quite subtle in not letting them know I retired. Why? I don't know, I just wanted to not be seen any different. Some people tend to look at retirees who retire younger than normal as strange. Or they may think I'm this totally loaded individual. Fewer people tend to think positively and feel happy for the person who recently retired as they know they have to dread heading back to work on Monday morning. 

But what I've learned in the 5 months is that not working a full-time job is okay. It's a new adventure for many. The planning was spot on but when the execution happens, all bets are off as it's sometimes a roll of the dice. Some of the things I've realized is that I felt the need to still work. For this remedy, I ended up working at a few side hustles on my terms and on my time constraints. This helped supplement my income in the interim when pension finally kicks in. Another revelation concerns my structured living. I'd wake up without an alarm clock going off, at times I didn't know what day it was. My routine was all off. There were days I was unshaven or having breakfast at noon and just watched TV longer than usual. The only thing I did not end up doing was wearing a robe all day sitting on a sofa eating bon bons. The typical stereotype people come to think once you retire. 

Breathe, McCormick and Schmick 

Overall, I think I've learned to settle in at my pace. Everyone has their own timeline to transition into this new life or lifestyle. Most people say to give yourself a year to settle in but what does that mean for me or others? I think it varies. As I celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow with friends who live nearby and are all still working, I'm taking in the moment just for me. Just thankful. No rush, no major decisions, but just settle. That's the status I think one can reach as you move into a new stage in your life. 

I say, stay relevant, active, and celebrate your new world called retired.  

Retirement's Big Question: Do I Stay or Should I Go?

*I'm revisiting a challenging predicament, hear me out on this. 

This has been such a common and important question many soon to be retiree(s) need to make a decision. Do I stay or should I go? Sounds like a song lyric, but the truth is, yes where do I decide to live after retiring? 

The Thinker, Artist: Auguste Rodin

Here's my predicament, I live and work in the city where my job is. It makes sense to be centrally located to where my job is - right? But, when you decide to leave, should you relocate? I live in an apartment in the city that has rent control. Many say once I leave, I can't come back as the cost of living for housing will never be the same. On the other hand, I also have real estate property outside of the city that will be paid off soon. I could live there and forego any additional rent paying in the city. But I don't want to live in a remote setting. For me, I'm a city slicker, I love the city vibe, the convenience of walking out my door and getting a cup of coffee and sit and take in the city setting. Whereas living in a remote location, I have to get in a car and drive somewhere to get coffee. Financially it makes sense: you're saving money on rent in the city and soon enough no mortgage to pay in a couple of years with the real estate outside of the city. 

In reality, I could keep both and enjoy living in the city to bide my time until my real estate property is fully paid for and I still have a place in the city. All I have to do is just pay for property tax, utilities, and maintenance, which will still be manageable. I think I answered my own question(s), it will be tough for a couple of years, but there's an expense for traveling I must contend with. 

Soon after retiring, I'm told no big decisions should be made for the first month. For example, moving, making a large purchase, etc. Also, from what I've read, it takes about 4 months after retiring that you feel that you've really retired. That's when reality really sets in. I need to set aside funds for some travel once retiring, which should really hurt me, but a budget is needed. 

As much as I prepare in advance in my inevitable retirement date of July 1st, there's always something nagging that I have yet to do or need to do. I constantly look at my checklist on items in my financial, social, and mental columns to be sure I didn't miss a thing. 

But I can only hope that I've covered as much as I can prior to retiring. Like the movie directed by Mel Brooks, The Twelve Chairs, set in the 1920s Soviet Russia, a fallen aristocrat, a priest, and a con artist search for a treasure of jewels hidden inside one of twelve dining chairs, lost during the revolution. A song in the movie titled, "Hope for the Best, Expect the Worst". I'd rather think of the positive aspect of retiring. 

The journey continues! 

Transition from Retirement to Travel Living Mode!

It's amazing how this journey has made me think about my choices in transitioning from work to retirement. It's really a moment to celebrating more in life at this stage in my life. 

I've created a new blog website to encompass this new adventure. Join me as I continue to celebrate a part of my retirement to more traveling and on my own terms. 

Visit my new blog website, appropriately called, Edgar Would Go! https://edgarwouldgo.com/

Tower Bridge, London

First Full Day of Retirement: Surreal

I recently returned from a close to two weeks vacation in London and returned home yesterday. I had a hard time adjusting to the time, but made it happen. I turned in early to be in my local time zone. It went pretty well, got up about 2 hours before my alarm went off. 

Big Ben and Houses of Parliament 

As "usual", I started putting the remaining things back like my toiletries, clothing, and sort for laundry. Done. I just started a load of laundry and hurried back upstairs to do some other things to tend to. But, the funny thing I noticed as that I was cramming everything in to get things done like I had somewhere else to go. But no, I have taken 8+ hours back to do whatever I wanted to do. I constantly paused catching myself realizing, "What's the rush?" I just realized I needed to pace myself now that I have more hours in the day to do things. 

Taking a break at the Tower Bridge, London 

This morning, I planned on going to the gym, having breakfast before 9am, checking my emails, etc. But it dawn on me that I don't need to rush. I do know I need to have structure as I take on this new phase of my life in retirement. Whether I will not work at all or work part time/ full time remains to be seen. I just need to settle in and take in this moment. It's a great feeling, Indeed it's surreal experience. 

Let me see how this week goes and I'll fully realize I'm on retirement, which is a good thing!

It's Finally Here, New Adventure Begins!

I woke up this morning without an alarm going off. It has dawn on me that I’m off the clock. Surreal. Walked over to Capital One Cafe for a latte. Sat down and took in this moment, the R word. Many I imagine can’t fathom of doing, but I’m following many before to do it, “pull the trigger”, “take that leap”, definitely there will be times, I can change things up. The saying goes, “the world is your oyster”, indeed! First step, walking out of my office ……stay tune where I land next.

Impending Retirement Nears

Last month I submitted my retirement notice and "paperwork" to my company's retirement office and notified my office manager that I'm calling it quits. 

My retirement date is July 1. Somehow I feel a little at a loss on what to do in the meantime. I have yet to do a list of tasks as the date nears. The retirement office will send a draft on my retirement choice or actions than I would approve if that is what is needed. From my understanding, all of the processing should be completed by mid June based on other colleagues who have retired before me. 

In addition to feeling at a loss, I feel also a sense of questioning my decision to retire, wonder if it was the right move, do I screw up on this decision? All these are questions that are swirling in my head to cause me to be in feeling of being frozen I guess? 

Can't Move! 

I figured when I get the draft notice that my retirement is moving along, maybe that will trigger me to make my next steps in preparing my final retirement takes. But not yet. In my head, I want to do a timeline in the office to close things as I have a feeling the last month will be charged with last minute things to do with my job and prepare for the next person to take over my role. 

Things I need to probably do is download all of my personal documents on my laptop to a USB thumb drive and clean the laptop of any of my personal items, prepare an autoreply for my email that I will no longer be with employer. Somehow, I need to put these things in way that will be fluid, but now it's all in alphabet soup mode. I'll need a trigger, so once I get the green light from the retirement office, it will probably give me more clarity. 

Stay tuned, I'm feeling a little bit on pins and needles? 

Retirement Notice to my Employer

This week I plan to notify my employer that I will be retiring. I've elected to give 3 month's notice as my employer's retirement office asked that we submit our notice to start processing our retirement paperwork. I think this notice is more than generous to allow my office to locate or provide contingency plans for my upcoming departure. 

Sadly, as I prepare for this decision to notify my employer, a few outlying events have happened that may affect my employer, but not necessarily me. One, being that my employer relies on heavy federal funding to continue with services and medical studies in the coming year(s), they've decided to implement a hiring freeze. So, no replacement for my position but probably hire a temporary employee in the meantime. I don't know how long a hiring freeze will be in place, but I feel that will be an inconvenience. Two, in light of the economy, my speculation will be that we may head into a recession. People will keep a close eye on their finances and be mindful of purchasing big ticket items, i.e. home, car, or large appliances. And three, possibly inadequate staffing may be a challenge for my employer. 

But, as I make my notice known to my employer, I wonder if I will be going into a different time to that may be "poor timing" to retire? Could it be anxiety? Or hesitations with some of these uncertainties? Like everyone else before me, I need to be calm and be steady in my decision. I'm at third base, getting ready to slide into home base and be excited to celebrate my next chapter in life.

San Francisco, CA - Oracle Baseball Park 

My last couple of years of planning is coming to fruition, but I didn't expect to receive a curveball that makes me second guess my decision to retire. I could only hope I manage to think of all the scenarios that I will encounter have been answered. 

Some people whom I've shared my desire to retire asked me, "Why?", "You've Got More Years to Go!" "What Will You Do?" These are just some of the questions or comments I've heard. For me, it's a desire to try something else, spend time with family, friends, a whole host of things. But many financial advisors like to say, "What will you retire TO?" I get that, but there's more to being at the same job for several years, there's got to be more I can do. I'm financially ready for the most part, I've met the Maslow's hierarchy of needs beyond physiological needs to safety & security. I'm trying to hit the top of the pyramid tip to full self-actualization - desire to become the most that I can be at this stage and age in my life. Is that so bad? 

Source: https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Next up is feeling the moment I give notice and the after affects which I will no doubt learn as this week draws near and the weekend arrives. Stay tuned on how I'll learn my decision to leave my current position, learning of the unknowns...

60 Arrived.

Last month was my 60th birthday. I can't believe it arrived. For almost a decade I was dangling around telling people I'm in my 50s. Now that is not the case, I ponder what now? An R&B singer, Aaliyah had a song titled,  "Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number". I thought of this, and say, really is it just a number? 

To me, it's a statement that I'm no longer in "that" demographic of individuals who are under 60. I'm with the group now that borders on pre retirement age to full on, no longer working. Well generally. I think of my high school classmates who are all turning 60 this year in 2025. To think just 35+ years out of high school we were young and invincible. As life moves on, we take on our careers, family, and new lifestyle of being adults. i.e. paying taxes, voting, and managing our lives as best as we can. Surreal. 

Union Square, San Francisco, CA  

Personally, as I prepare my impending retirement from my current employer, I'm a bit anxious and at the same time excited. On the other hand, fear creeps in my mind, as a single middle age man I constantly ask myself, "Do I have enough to retire?", "Will there be someone to take care of me as I age if I'm unable?" I've always been independent, self reliant, and been on my own for the most part of my life. But those two questions seem to haunt me in my mind and in my retirement plans. 

Today, I skipped going to the gym. My excuse was I'm getting over a cold and didn't have the energy to deal with crowds of people in my gym for a body pump class. The other reason is I simply didn't feel like it for a Monday. 

Union Square, San Francisco, CA  

As I reflect and begin to embark in my new decade of my life, my thinking as changed on focusing on my age. It wasn't an issue before but at this AGE, it seems to be an issue. I begin to think, "I'm I slowing down on my workouts?" "Has my mental health becoming an issue if I stop working?" "Will a flight of stairs become a crazy thought of falling?" Some of these things seem to bother me. 

But I do know that I can only control what I can. Adapt with a new way of living. The other day, I played a tennis match with an opponent who appeared older. In the game of tennis he played serve and volley strategy. Which is when he serves, he moves towards the net to cut off my return, basically shorten the point or rally. I stopped doing that years ago and decided to play at the baseline. The other thing I've decide not to do is chase down a drop shot. A while ago, my doubles partner said to not chase these balls down as I'm not as quick as I use to be. I tend to disagree. I want to get every ball as if I was still a 16 year old. Sadly, it's true, I have to adjust my game with my 60 year body and just let it go. Again, adapt. 

Union Square, San Francisco, CA  

I'm a few months away from choosing a full retirement from my current job, finances has been utmost my main concern bringing doubts on whether it's ideal to retire. Maybe I'm forcing the issue as I turn 60. I spoke with others who retired before me and many of them agree, they wished they retired sooner. I know I'll find something else to do with my time; spending time with family, pick up a new hobby or continue with the ones I have, and also travel as much as I can financially in the next 10 years. Some say it's the "go go" years, which I'm able to walk, run, and handle the rigors of travel. When 70 arrives, it may not be as worthwhile, this decade they call the "no go" years. 

My eye is still on the prize to retire early while I can and enjoy my saved earnings to do some of the things I would enjoy. I'll stay in my rent controlled apartment in San Francisco, and another two years, my home outside of the City will be paid for so more disposable income in my pocket. This I believe will serve me well for the first decade of enjoying retirement. As 70 comes into play, I'll have this extra money and nowhere to go to enjoy but find that my medical expenses might be where my money will be used for. I'm generally in good health. Gained a few but for the most part I'm managing. 
As July arrives, I hope to be in a much better outlook with myself personally, mentally, and financially. 

Union Square, San Francisco, CA  

Again, adapt as this will come in from time to time. 

Union Square, San Francisco, CA  

  

Independent Retirement: Is it Easy to Retire and Live on my Own?

I'm literally 5 months away before I pull the trigger. I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel on this retirement journey. Looked at my finances as usual, looks like I'm in rather good shape; budgeted for a couple of trips I'll be taking before my retirement and after. 

Next week will be my 60th birthday and that number, 60 is quite large and intimidating. I never thought I'd see myself being 60, I always thought it was someone else, but wow, I'm going to be there soon. What I also looked into was my health. I've lined up a couple of yearly medical routine check in with my primary doctor and also schedule an eye check up. 

All usually around my birthday. Cross fingers I won't encounter any significant changes in my health. I do admit I've gained quite a few over the years. Not sure if was due to getting older or I'm less active these days. I've been doing free weights, some running, and strength training but not at the level I was when I was in my late 30s and 40s. Don't want to admit I'm slowing down, but I think I have to be self motivated post Covid era. Many friends and colleagues are on their own schedule and I find myself training on my own and having to call people out for get togethers. Seems like everybody I know are becoming home bodies.  

This seems to be a precursor in my impending retirement. The fact that I'm living on my own and quite comfortable doing it isn't going to be a tough thing to do. It's not a transition there. But the activities I'll need to create on my own will be key to my success in living in retirement on my own. I won't know how I'll feel or encounter after being in this stage for the first few months. I see it as a honeymoon period. I'll take off for a week for London as one of my bucket list trip. I've never been to London. So I'm going to take it easy but hit the spots that interests me. I won't go all out and try to cover all the attractions. As always moderation. When I get back, then I'll need to settle back in. Most likely downsize more in terms of paper work as many won't be of concern. I could probably place some or all in the cloud or server. Goal - to be paperless but have documents accessible from anywhere if needed. 

So, here I go in counting down my months before leaving the building. Stay tuned! 

2025 is Here: How am I Feeling?

It's 2025. My countdown to my retirement date is July 1st. I'm quite anxious at the same time scared. But, I've been planning this for years and now that I want to pull the trigger, I have this unease, at the same time excitement to leave my present employment and really take some time off. 

All these emotions running through my head lately is not a surprise. It manifests in my constant checking of my financial health. I'm always logging into my account to see if I have enough to retire. In addition, I'm scrambling to fund a healthy emergency fund, for the just in case moments. Also, taking stock of my health at this time. I have not been running or working out as usual. I walk alot but it's not quite what I find as good. Sleeping hasn't been any easier, for years, I don't sleep a full 6 hours. If anything, much less. Wonder if it's because I'm getting older and "we" old people don't sleep like our days of going to clubs at late night and sleeping till noon. Those days are gone. 

As I settle into 2025, I'm reminded that I've got this, it's my own discipline that may go off kilter. Recently, I booked a hotel and airfare to travel to Las Vegas as a pre birthday holiday. But realized, that I had to save for my big trip to London this summer. That trip is a pretty penny. I ended up cancelling my hotel reservation and received credit for my flight on Southwest. It reminded me that I had to start to rein in my expenses for other experiences that costs more. 

Sunset at Ala Moana Park, Honolulu, Hawaii 

I'm also transitioning my behavior as if I'm retired already. I don't want to be a penny pincher in retirement, but be sensible. If I want to take off somewhere I need to plan and budget. Retiree perks are great since we are not working anymore. We can travel on a mid week date for great airline deals, travel during off season, and eat and drink anytime of the day at my leisure. Strange thought but that's what the advantages of a retiree earns or gets, is time on your own terms. 

I'll continue to manage my last few months for retirement and get to the point of leaving the building one last time. I've worked over 45 years in different capacities, but this last year is a tough one. From starting as a paper delivery boy, hotel front desk worker, executive assistant, and to now a college admissions coordinator really comes full circle. 

This post sets a nice perspective on where I am and hope that the remaining posts sheds more clarity and light for my eventual retirement.

Stay tuned, there may be a slight twist to my adventure? 

Rainy Day Review to Retirement Next Year

I'm taking in the stormy weather we've been having in the Northern California area to stay in to do a little writing. It's been a few days after Christmas and I'm really feeling the sense that my desire to retire in 2025 is literally around the corner! 

As I select July 1st as my last day in the office, standard protocol in submitting a retirement/resignation to my employer is generally 3 months. This allows all the paperwork to be processed just in time before I walk out the door. So starting in April I'm letting my director know I'm leaving. 

Personally, I still feel the anxiety and wonder if it's the right time, will I make a mistake by retiring too early, all these crazy thoughts start to surface in my head and making me second guess my decision. 

But as there is constant rain pouring outside my window, I'm given some calmness that all my preparation has been more than enough. I've crossed all my T's and dotted my I's, and it's really going to be my best foot forward to make the move at this stage in my life. 

As for the following, I think I've covered them all, well the ones that I'm aware of. 

FINANCES, ✅

SOCIAL ATMOSPHERE, ✅

HEALTH & FITNESS, ✅

HOUSING, ✅ 

To be honest the only thing that might surprise me is the roller coaster of mentally being prepared. Cross fingers all the networking with previous retirees, watching retirement preparation videos on YouTube, and simply talking to family and friends, sort of "calms" me versus freaking out. 

One person told me that I can prepare as much as you want and also holding off one more year before retiring will never establish reassurance. But I know one thing is that I'm embracing the TIME I have for me to take on another chapter or take on something new. Sure, spending time with family and friends more is a given, and traveling will be top of my to do list, i.e. bucket list new destinations will be the fun part. But going it alone might be a tad stressor for me versus thinking independence. That's for another blog. So for now, enjoying the sound of rain outside my window gives me pause to really settle in and hope 2025 will be exciting, comforting, and new for me. I need to change it up ! 

It's happening, I'm planning on retiring!

Well, it's confirmed, I'm fully engaged in planning to retire in 2025. Why 2025? Well, I'll hit 60 and I think I've worked long enough to really take in the moment to call it quits. I'm excited, it's surreal, and at the same time I'm afraid and hopeful that this move will be what I hope for.

I'm surrounded by a number of friends and colleagues who have left the corporate, job, world to pursue other passions or adventures. I've thought about it for a few years now and it's slowly becoming a reality for myself. I know I'll have to figure how to navigate this route to get there. I have a feeling, I have to deal with finances, where to live, how to adjust a new life after working for so many years. I'm not sure where to begin, but I'm hopeful writing this blog helps be sort things out in my head and putting it in perspective on a blog to document my journey. 

Cross fingers, I'm doing this right. It can be lonely, but hopeful again the word hopeful, I did the right thing. 

FINANCES

First off, my first question will be, can I afford to retire? Many of us will have to address the elephant in the room, do we have the money to make it? I would say, maybe I'm 70% there? But, I have to see what number is it to say, I can afford to make the move. 

I read an article that said, you should be able to retire comfortable if you've saved 8x your annual salary.  But it all depends on your way of life after retiring too, it may be enough for one person but another may need more. Here's the article among others that say you should have this amount by retirement. 

How Much Do I Need to Save to Retire? 

Let's say you make $50,000, you'll need to have $400,000 at the time of retirement (for me at 60) and should last you, oh I don't know maybe 25-30 years after leaving your job? That's a tall order for many of us. Who has saved that much when housing and other life circumstances are so expensive? 

I'll need to put together a spreadsheet that helps me see where I'm at to get to this amount. 
In the meantime, I need to save like crazy if I need to reach that goal. Stay tuned, I'll see if that number is even remotely close to my goal. 

Back to the question, am I ready to retire? Let's do this!